Toxic Destruction: A Thriller

He entered the hotel late one evening and found me in the lobby with some team members discussing a project he and I were overseeing. He flew into a rage. Right there in the lobby he launched an extended verbal attack on me about some things I had allowed our team to do. It was not a pretty sight.

It was the latest episode in a rocky relationship between him—the relationship leader for his company—and the company I represented. The problems had been going on for some years before I got involved.

Others had tried to deal with this character in the past, to no avail. I was brought in to be “the fixer”. Aware of his reputation, I did my best to turn down the job, but when I was told I was the last resort I finally agreed to step in.

Several months in, on a regular basis I was rethinking my decision.

He was arrogant and abusive, a bully in all ways. What set him off in the lobby? I had allowed the team to operate in a way that unbeknownst to me was at odds with what he had planned.

Abuse of those with less power, those you are supposed to lead and train for their future success, those for whom you should set an example, those whose future is dependent on not fighting back…is completely unacceptable.

So I became the terminator, beginning the process that ended the relationship between the companies.

Curtain closed. Relief all around. I received quite a few expressions of gratitude for finally solving this problem.

Why do we tolerate people in our organizations that are so toxic they’ve become infamous, people that no one wants to work with or for? The fear they engender leads to people shutting down, keeping their creative and useful thoughts, ideas and solutions to themselves. People wonder how it is that the senior executives allow such destructive bullies  to remain and so respect for the leaders diminishes and the organization’s culture deteriorates. Results suffer.

When I ask organizations why their bully is being tolerated, what I hear is how valuable he is. He has good connections, he knows a lot, he’s made us money, he gets things done. What no one considers is the damage he does and how much more successful the business could be with an inspiring leader bringing out the best in their people.

The bully in this story and his company are now just a memory. There wasn’t a single complaint about ending the relationship…

And since ending the relationship, the company I represented has reached out to other companies they work with that they know well and like. The inquiries are being met with enthusiasm about the opportunity to partner more often.

Some of these companies knew about the problems with the bully and remarked that they were not at all surprised that we ended the relationship and wondered why it took so long to happen. Clearly, the prolonged involvement with him showed the company in a poor light.

Take a look around your organization. Are there toxic people among you who’ve been harming everyone else , hurting your results, and ruining your reputation? How long are you going to let it go on?