Make Some Enemies

While recent posts have highlighted some of the happy encounters inherent in my work, it’s not all roses. Over the last few weeks I’ve been involved in a number of  situations that were unpleasant. For reasons I don’t fully comprehend, the universe seems to throw these challenges to me in bunches. I wind up dealing with several in a short period of time and then, thankfully, am free of them until the next batch gets dropped in my lap. A number of people have seen through my usual friendly demeanor and realized that when the situation calls for it, I can be as tough as required so they know who to call when things get rough…

One of the situations I’m referring to began when a CEO asked me to deal with someone whose actions are leading his company to disaster. I exchanged several not very pleasant emails with the perpetrator, and ended up having to suggest various deficiencies in his grasp of reality while he proclaimed his innocence.. Another time, I was charged with telling a family member of a family business that due to his failings the rest of the family decided he needed to leave…immediately. And in yet a third dustup, I had to tell a previously successful senior executive that she had risen well into her level of incompetence. In all three cases, I had to do the dirty work that the executive in charge was unwilling to do.

And now there are three more people who have decided I just might not be their favorite person.

Reflecting on these events I remembered the words of the journalist Herbert Bayard Swope, “I cannot give you the formula for success but I can give you the formula for failure which is: try to please everyone.”

All too often executives, and others, work so hard to please that they forget that sometimes the best thing they can do for the greater good is something that causes them to make an enemy. You can’t be liked by everyone. Disapproval, rejection, and even outright dislike and enmity are often the results of your doing the right thing.

Possessing strength of character means having core values and principles that guide all you do. When they require you to let someone know they are out of line and could use a good whack on the side of their head, you deliver it. Metaphorically of course.

Good leaders know not only how to inspire others but also how to deal with those disrupting the organization. They need to tell those in the wrong job they need to move on, to take those being abusive to task for their actions, to put themselves in the line of fire to protect the defenseless. Good leaders build a culture of respect and an environment where all can thrive. They show others they mean it by their actions. Leaders show the door to those who violate the organization’s core principles and are unfit for their positions so that the rest of the enterprise can flourish.

You can’t please everyone and everyone can’t please you. It’s just the way it is. Go ahead, make a few enemies. If you do so with openness, honesty, and the best interests of your employees and organization in mind, it will be uncomfortable in the short term but the alternative is much worse.