Forty years ago The Economist wrote the following while describing something said by Harold Wilson: “Like many of Mr Wilson’s speeches it contained difficult passages in which it is impossible to disentangle what the words really meant to him from what they were intended to mean to others and what they might later be said to have meant at the time.”
Think about this. Language not as a bearer of a clear, understandable, unchanging message but as obtuse, unclear, and constantly morphing meaning.
Is this communication?
And yet many leaders speak in just this way. They fear taking a firm and clear stand where they are crystal clear to everyone what they mean and where they stand. After all, once you take a stand you have the opportunity not only to be correct, but also to be totally wrong.
A great fear of leaders seems to be that people will discover they are not infallible, that they…like everyone else…actually can be mistaken about something. In their fear of being found out as sharing the human trait of fallibility, they obfuscate, confuse, and do their best to speak in ways that are open to multiple interpretations…and with meanings that morph according to situation, listener, and time.
Is it any wonder that so often after something is done incorrectly the response of the doer is “but I thought this is what you asked me to do.”
Is this communication?
Not according to John Grinder, one of the founders of Neurolinguistic Programming, who once told me “communication is the response you get.” With these simple words he reversed the situation above. No longer is it the responsibility of the listener to understand what you said but it becomes your responsibility to ensure the message is clear.
It forces you to be brave, to take a stand and accept that you might be wrong…and everyone will realise this, to accept that you might offend someone. In spite of what you think, these are not the worst things than can happen to you. It forces you to speak clearly and simply in ways that take away any chance of misunderstanding. It forces you to bear responsibility for your words.
It forces you to be crystal clear, take a stand, and be accountable.
It enables people to know what you really think and believe and for you to become a better leader and accomplish more.
Get over your fear and communicate simply with crystal clarity…always.
As the old saying goes – “you are responsible for the listening of others” If you do not say what you mean clearly it is not the fault of the listening party but of the talking party.