Just Say No!

I’ve been simplifying my life. Between my international travels, Wharton Global Consulting Practicum and Geneva Global responsibilities, putting out fires for Benari clients, and installing EOS to help small and midsize companies operate at their best, my existence is complex. Add in a round of golf and a good mystery novel now and then and it’s downright overwhelming. So it was time to streamline.

I began by cleaning house. Gone are boxes of things that weren’t opened since I moved in some years ago, extra furniture that filled a space but was rarely or never used, clothes that haven’t been worn since…really big bell bottoms were popular, kitchen stuff I don’t even know how to use, and the general detritus that having lots of space entices you to pile up.

It’s been a liberating process. Selling this and that, donating a lot to Goodwill or Camphill Village Kimberton Hills, throwing out the real junk, and not missing a thing. And the space…the open space seems to broaden my thinking. It’s like gazing out at a huge vista from the top of a mountain.

But simplifying my life means not only paring down my belongings, but also learning how to say no.

I’m often amazed at the number of people who get referred to me for free advice on starting a business, going to college, deciding what they really want to do, getting a new job, writing their resume, learning about international business, or getting divorced. (Just kidding about that last one…thank goodness.) The good news is there are prospective client or speaking opportunities requiring a call or meeting.

Being basically a nice guy who wants to help people if I can, saying no has always been difficult for me. Just saying no seems unkind, so I occasionally find a way around it. Since I’m a very early riser, I often tell people asking for help with something not all that interesting to me, that the only time I have available is breakfast at 6 at someplace convenient for me. This has proven a good way to get rid of those who really aren’t that interested in me either.

I’ve gotten better at asking “Why me? What is it exactly that you want to talk to me about?” and, “What is the outcome you’re hoping for?” No need to spend but a few minutes of my time if I can’t or am not interested in providing what they’re seeking.

Best of all, I’ve gotten comfortable just turning down requests that I decide won’t be fun for me. As regular readers know, my motto is Pay Attention · Add Value · Have Fun.  And perhaps the most important to me these days is Have Fun.

As a result of saying no, I’m finding that I now wind up spending more time on things that interest me most and where I can add the most value. My life is simpler. I’m having more fun. I’m spending more time on those things where I can be my best and less and less on things that steal time from me. My life is simpler and my calendar easier.

I’m playing a bit more golf, spending an extra day in interesting places on my travels, and am half-way through the latest book by Owen Laukkanen.

And lo and behold, my fees have risen and client referrals have increased.

All because I learned how to say no.