Bad Assumptions

It seems I’m a smoker, at least that’s what a physician insisted. The only problem is…I’ve never smoked. Never.

I’d been coughing a bit for some time. A cough here, a cough there, and every once in awhile a bit of extended coughing. Nothing debilitating, just a cough that seemed to sit in my throat and rear up for no particular reason.

As with most men, I ignored it. Figured it was due to my having had my throat roto- rootered years ago for sleep apnea. Cured the sleep apnea, but left some scar tissue that occasionally makes swallowing uncomfortable.

I ignored the cough until my lady friend told me that I probably had lung cancer. And told me again and again and again. Finally, I got the message and decided to go to my doctor and get checked out.

I wound up getting a chest x-ray.

Luckily for me, it seems I’m probably fine. A bit of lung deterioration which happens to us as we age, particularly if you’ve been hanging out in places like Beijing with unbelievably horrible air.

And if you smoke or smoked, which the radiologist is convinced that I do, or did…

Right there at the beginning of his report on the x-ray he notes that I am a smoker. The rest of the report is written under that assumption. Including his final remarks, in which he states emphatically, once again, that I am a smoker. Had he not looked at my medical record, including the form I filled out before getting the x-ray in which I state, that I am not now and have never been, a smoker?

It does not inspire confidence in this physician’s diagnosis if he is incapable of reading the information given to him in order to properly evaluate the x-ray. And then he based his report on his incorrect assumptions.

This incident reminded me of the time my elderly grandfather wound up in the hospital for something or other. I still distinctly remember standing in front of his team of doctors with my father, uncle, and aunt while the head doctor shared how they couldn’t do much for him because my grandfather was an alcoholic.

My relatives protested that my grandfather was a teetotaler who would barely sip a bit of ceremonial wine at weddings. The doctor doubled-down on his assertion, basically telling us that we were being fooled. Lots of old men, according to him, were closet drinkers…

This was met with stony stares from my relatives who intoned in dead-serious voices: “I’m Doctor Smolinsky” “I’m Doctor Smolinsky” “I’m Doctor Smolinsky”.

The conversation turned and suddenly, lo and behold, there indeed were options available to help my grandfather. The word “alcoholic” was not mentioned again.

As I occasionally mention in these missives, wrong assumptions, often made while disregarding, disputing, or ignoring the information right in front of you, lead to lousy plans, and poor outcomes. In business you lose a few dollars, your share price drops, or you go out of business. In medicine bad outcomes are much worse. You lose an arm…or you die.

It bears repeating. Decisions based on incorrect assumptions instead of accurate and factual information can kill you.

On a final note, once we left the hospital after straightening out my grandfather’s doctors, we grinned widely at each other. Doctors Smolinsky indeed. All psychologists.

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